wanna know what a cow looks like washed and blow dried?
that is what a cow looks like washed and blow dried
FLUFFY MILK HORSE
if i ever met satan the first thing i would say is “did it hurt…when you fell from heaven??” It would be hilarious. The next thing I would do is probably burst into flame and get impaled dozens of times but it would still be hilarious
u always hear “how long is ur dick” but u never hear “how deep is ur vagina”. we must fight for womens rights
i really hate this ‘ur other half is out there somewhere u just gotta meet them’ like fuck off im not incomplete im a whole person and i dont need anyone to ‘complete me’ the only thing i need is a pizza and not ur shit bye
today i heard 2 kids talking about buying fake IDs after school and so i started eavesdropping cuz u know thats big kid stuff and then one was like “yeah but is all this really worth it like im pretty sure the fake IDs cost more than the fish we r gonna buy”
to buy fish at petco u have to be 18 or older
they were going to get fakes to buy fish
awww that’s the cutest thing
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from reading fanfiction, it’s that clear communication will save you at least three chapters of angst.
*steals your wallet*
*goes in for the slam dunk*
*while in mid air yo girl texts me, impressed, wanting to hang*
let’s not forget that ‘fandom’ is ’fanatic domain’ shortened
my life is a lie
UNF IS AN ACRONYM!?!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
pharell williams and will ferrell have reverse names
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE
where the fuck is you, romeo
Fuck you, the original line in Romeo and Juliet is “Wherefore art thou”. And maybe if you stopped being an assumption-making bag of fucking asshole, you’d know that wherefore does NOT FUCKING MEAN “WHERE”, WHEREFORE MEANS “WHY”.
SHE’S ASKING WHY HIS NAME IS ROMEO. FUCK ALL OF YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU HARD UP THE TOENAIL. I TAKE MY SHAKESPEARE SERIOUSLY AS TITS.
why the fuck is you romeo
you can preach about slut-shaming all you want, but you can’t deny there’s something very wrong with 13 and 14-year old girls going out in skirts and dresses so short they barely cover their asses and shirts with necklines so low they show off cleave they haven’t got yet, drinking and even smoking and hooking up with guys before they even have a substantial knowledge of how sex and sexual relationships work.
Thank YOU HOLY SHIT